If you are a parent, you know the ones I mean. The first night home from the hospital, the first time they get a fever, the first time they get their heart broken...
Of course I've only experienced the first two so far.
I'll never forget the first night we brought our son home from the hospital. It was like he transformed into a super-crying baby. Nothing we did could get him to stop crying. We walked him, fed him, changed him, put clothes on him, took clothes off him, rocked him, laid him down, picked him up. He just cried and cried. We didn't know what to do for him. I felt so helpless, I cried.
There were a few nights in the weeks to follow where I felt similar, but not quite as bad. The next time I felt almost as bad was last night. The first time he had a fever. It was like time was rewound 15 months. I walked him, fed him, changed him, put clothes on him, took clothes off him, rocked him, laid him down, picked him up. He cried and cried and I didn't know what to do for him. I felt so helpless, I cried.
These are nights that moms dread, but have to live through. And as we pace the floors, holding them tight in our arms, whispering comfort in their ears, we pray. We pray to God that this passes quickly and they are happy, healthy and whole again.
This won't be the last time I feel helpless as a parent, but I hope the next time is a long way off. I don't look forward to comforting him after the first time his feelings are hurt because I never want him to feel that pain. But his mommy will be there for him, God-willing, to do whatever I can to make him feel better. Even if I feel completely helpless doing it.
For all you parents, I hope your helpless nights are few and far between. And even if you feel all alone and completely helpless on those long, dark nights, God is there...pacing with you, holding you, whispering comfort in your ear.